Attitude to life

I was out with a girl I know yesterday when she said she couldn’t decide if I was a positive or negative person. Well the truth is I try to be realistic, but also positive. And I think this is how we should all be. Our attitude should be “In many ways it’s not a wonderful world - but we can make it so!”.

Intelligence

Intelligence is a very complicated thing (and so a vague term) but one aspect is speed of spotting patterns. Good judgement - wisdom - however, is a different thing entirely, and more rarely found.

Pascal’s Wager

Why Pascal’s Wager is wrong!

How to entertain ladies

I often see men who have no idea how to behave around ladies. I hope in this entry I can offer some guidance that will benefit both these men and the ladies themselves.

Definition of a lady: a woman with grace, elegance and consideration for others. Unlikely to be: riding in a supermarket trolley, drunk, cackling, eating chips, obsese, found.

Definition of a gentleman: a man with honour and dignity, respect for ladies and an understanding of how to treat them. Unlikely to be: watching ‘the match’, dressed in sports clothing in public, shouting, swearing, drinking excessively, reading a tabloid newspaper.

• Ladies are as rare as gentlemen. They are very rare in England, where it has become unfashionable to be a lady, but there are still many to be found on the Continent and elsewhere in the world.
• Places ladies usually like to go: department stores, ice-cream shops, coffee shops, libraries, restaurants, private parties, cultural events.
• Places ladies usually do not like to go: pubs, nightclubs.
• Don’t do first dates, have meetings. Meet in a coffee shop for a short time. Keep it friendly, with no assumptions or expectations on either part.
• When taking a lady out, do not talk about yourself all the time. Occasional anedotes are great if you are good at telling them, but do not insist on the conversation revolving around you. This is probably very boring for the lady, not to mention rude. You should be interested in her and asking about her. It is intelligent to do this anyway, as you will learn more.
• Do not swear in front of ladies.
• Listen to what a lady says.
• Do not treat a lady as if she is stupid - she probably is not (thank goodness), and will pick up on every nuance of your behaviour.
• Do not bring your gender into disrepute (i.e. follow these rules!).
• On occasions that a lady reveals herself not to be a lady at all (is rude or ungrateful), politely excuse yourself. You are not there as a charity - it is an even exchange.
• Dress smartly. Be clean and presentable.
• Be punctual. If you can’t be punctual notify the lady why and apologise (once is enough) upon your arrival.
• Don’t play any games.
• Be satisfied with just friends - the best relationships start this way.
• Pay a bill completely if the lady has been gracious. Otherwise you are under no obligation to do so.
• This should go without saying, but open doors for the lady, invite her to go first, and ensure she has safe transit home.
• Ask a lady about her musical taste. Music is the language of the emotions and it’s great to listen to music together too.
• Control yourself and don’t even think about sex until later in the relationship.
• Never pretend to share the lady’s taste completely or agree with her on everything. Be polite but genuine. No-one is looking for a “yes man” and disgreement is not the end of a relationship; it could be the start of an interesting one.
• Do not be dominated by, but also do not try to dominate the lady. Just be relaxed. As you become used to being with ladies, this will be natural.
• Do not assume complete responsibility for the success of the evening. You are not worthless - you are (or should be) a good catch - and are entitled to expect at the very least politeness from the lady.
• Do not pressure the lady in any way. Keep things relaxed.
• When on a date, don’t think you have to stand out and try to prove something. If you do this you will appear to be someone who thinks they have to stand out and prove something. Just be yourself and enjoy the company of the lady.

Making the point

What a great article by AC Grayling… He says:

“It is time to reverse the prevailing notion that religious commitment is intrinsically deserving of respect, and that it should be handled with kid gloves and protected by custom and in some cases law against criticism and ridicule.

It is time to refuse to tip-toe around people who claim respect, consideration, special treatment, or any other kind of immunity, on the grounds that they have a religious faith, as if having faith were a privilege-endowing virtue, as if it were noble to believe in unsupported claims and ancient superstitions.

It is neither. Faith is a commitment to belief contrary to evidence and reason, as between them Kierkegaard and the tale of Doubting Thomas are at pains to show; their example should lay to rest the endeavours of some (from the Pope to the Southern Baptists) who try to argue that faith is other than at least non-rational, given that for Kierkegaard its virtue precisely lies in its irrationality.

On the contrary: to believe something in the face of evidence and against reason - to believe something by faith - is ignoble, irresponsible and ignorant, and merits the opposite of respect. It is time to say so.”

He goes on to come close to the point that religions are actually highly divisive; it should be enough that we are all human beings, and we don’t need to separate ourselves further over imaginary issues.

Along with Christopher Hitchens, Grayling proves himself a strong and articulate ally for the likes of Dawkins and Sam Harris, as together they try to snap the world out of its trance.

Atheists arrogant?

It’s funny how believers sometimes try to portray atheists as arrogant and too self-assured.
We are the only ones who are saying we do not know everything about the universe. We do not have the explanations. But we are not prepared to accept absurd, simplistic and primitive Chinese whispers passed down through the ages as explanations either. Why? Here’s why:

“Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones… There is something feeble and a little contemptible about a man who cannot face the perils of life without the help of comfortable myths. Almost inevitably, some part of him is aware that they are myths, and that he believes them only because they are comforting. But he dares not face this thought! Moreover, since he is aware, however dimly, that his opinions are not rational, he becomes furious when they are disputed…

The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge…

We want to stand upon our own feet and look fair and square at the world - its good facts, its bad facts, its beauties, and its ugliness; see the world as it is and be not afraid of it…

The whole conception of a God is a conception derived from the ancient oriental despotisms. It is a conception quite unworthy of free men. When you hear people in church debasing themselves and saying that they are miserable sinners, and all the rest of it, it seems contemptible and not worthy of self-respecting human beings.

We ought to stand up and look the world frankly in the face. We ought to make the best we can of the world… A good world needs knowledge, kindliness, and courage; it does not need a regretful hankering after the past or a fettering of the free intelligence by the words uttered long ago by ignorant men. It needs a fearless outlook and a free intelligence. It needs hope for the future, not looking back all the time toward a past that is dead, which we trust will be far surpassed by the future that our intelligence can create.”

Bertrand Russell

Great words from Russell there…

Incidentally I think there is sufficient evidence to invalidate agnoticism in the case of religion. I don’t believe in the ideas put forward so far for a “God” because they are contrary to all evidence and more than likely simply created by a credulous and insecure mankind. The jury is out on how the universe came about, and science is our best, our only, means of finding out more. And we are finding out more all the time.

Twisting semantics

Some of the faithful (believers in irrational things despite a lack of evidence for them, and even good evidence to the contrary) are trying to portray secularism as a religion. Even worse, some atheists are trying to do the same. I consider the latter to be defectors from the cause of reason and truth, and they are insulting and ungrateful to the likes of Dawkins and Harris, who are just reasonable men literally risking their lives by daring to challenge dogmas.

I guess this was a predictable move from the religious as they try to preserve their ancient and often absurd and hypocritical myths in the face of scientific and moral advancement, and it has been decisively dismissed by AC Grayling. Let me say it again. There is no need for these silly myths. Just take off your stablizers and live a good life of compassion and reason. Dump the rest and we will all be a lot happier!