The Real People

This is one of the best albums of the whole of the nineties, by one of the most under-rated bands of that decade. Virtually every track is worthy of being an A-side. The Real People’s fire was stolen by Oasis, who they heavily influenced, but they were one of the first “Brit Pop” bands, defining the genre, and this album remains a masterpiece. Do yourself a favour and buy it - or at least have a listen…

Any Questions

I have just been listening to Any Questions on BBC Radio 4.

The demi-muslim Yasmin Alibhai-Brown really is the stereotypical woolly-minded liberal (and therefore cannot be following the Koran properly), while neo-Con Douglas Murray (though some of his views do seem rather extreme) was making some sound points, notably about the savage dictatorship in Iran - and was booed by the audience for doing so. (I remember Murray, by the way, as being the precocious author of the biography Bosie.)

Some people really seem to live in a world of their own, some kind of fantasy utopia where everyone is nice, it’s all our fault and nobody really means us any harm. They need to wake up and smell the coffee, and some of the female apoligists for theocracies should perhaps try living in those societies and then see how much they like them.

Two kinds of Christian

There are two kinds of Christian, which I shall call “Type 1″ and “Type 2″:

Type 1 are those who make the error of confusing being moral with being religious, but have not read their texts closely and/or do not follow them properly. These are essentially good, but confused, people.

Type 2 are those others (fundamentalists), who really believe what the books say (and have therefore to a significant extent lost the power of rational thought), and agree with what the books say (and are therefore morally corrupt).

Due to their high number and implicit endorsement of the latter kind, however, Type 1 Christians are (as Sam Harris has pointed out) in some ways the more dangerous for the world.

Blast from the past

They don’t make ‘em like this any more…

A pleasant visit to Cheltenham

I have just returned from a very pleasant trip to the English town Cheltenham, which proved itself to be something of a gem of the south-west.

I was training the staff of the Cheltenham Echo local newspaper. I could not have hoped for a nicer contact at the company and my companion and I stayed at a first class guest house called Georgian House in the Montpellier area of the town. I can recommend it fully.

We were taken by our contact to the excellent Daffodil restaurant (a converted art deco style theatre) and we discovered a fine real ale pub in the form of The Jolly Brewmaster. This offered six real ales, of which I sampled three - and all were of a high standard. We also visited a Chinese restaurant called Ruby.

We had the benefit of excellent weather but I can recommend Cheltenham to all. It must have its share of yobbery but this was not particularly in evidence, and I’m looking forward to returning to the town soon.

Astrology

Astrology is an insult to astronomy. It consists of writings of complete and utter fantasy mainly by effete and unscrupulous men, which are consumed mainly by credulous and insecure women.

NSS Quotations

The NSS does a lot of actual practical work to remove special privileges from religions, to stop them interfering in our lives and to promote rational thought and humanism instead. In every newsletter they provide some great current quotations. Here are the latest:

“Under sharia law (Islamic law), such as governs in Saudi Arabia, Iran and parts of Nigeria, the civil rights of women are dramatically reduced. Threat of violent punishment in the form of whipping and stoning makes the prospect of financial independence and sexual freedom for women all but impossible. Miraculously, even in such harsh circumstances you will find women who are relatively well educated, have some say in choosing a husband and manage to earn a living. Let us be clear that these exceptions are due to the compassion and progressiveness of families who have been influenced by the West, and not to rules derived from Islam.”

Ayaan Hirsi Ali

“One should be good to one’s fellow human beings, not only because then they will be good to you, but also because it’s right. You don’t need a religion to feel that.”

David Nobbs

“People say Scientology is ridiculous, but it’s no more ridiculous than the virgin birth, really. It’s all the same madness.”

Rupert Everett

And Scientology is complete and utter rubbish, by the way.  Its absurd claims would embarrass even an eleven-year old were he to read them in a children’s story.

Arrogant assumptions

A lot of people - at every level of society - make assumptions which turn out to be wrong and make them them look foolish. One that men can find rather offensive is the way that some women, if they are so much as spoken to by a stranger about anything whatsoever, will behave exactly as if that man has just said:

“I want to have sex with you regardless of anything.”

It tends to be good looking but unintelligent girls who behave in this way. This extremely arrogant assumption is apparent in their manner, which is an utterly exclusive one, sending the message:

“If I don’t recognise you instantly, you are worthless to me and there can be no possible benefit of me speaking to you.”

This is not something I experience often, but I have encountered it occasionally because I speak openly with people and usually give them the benefit of the doubt.

I have said it before and I will say it again. Not all men are desperate, and looks alone are not enough for any discerning man (they are certainly not enough for me). Such women actually miss out with their dismissive behaviour (it encourages men to value them for their looks alone) and they insult with their arrogance. Their behaviour also shows a lack of imagination. We can be grateful in that it is a warning sign (”Don’t bother talking to me - I am actually not intelligent or polite enough to be worthy of your time”) - but they would be better being civil and treating men as human beings first, and men second. If straightforward moral reasons are not enough for them to do this (viz. having respect for others until given reason to withdraw it) and they must have an overtly mercenary motive, they should consider that you never know just who that stranger might turn out to be.

Strong opinions

There’s nothing wrong with being opinionated if you’re right.

Some tabloid headlines

The Scum, oh sorry, The Sun, part of Britain’s gutter press and staffed by people who have sold their souls if they ever had them to begin with, deems the following stories to be the most important in the world today, as they adorn its front page:

• Amy’s 3 day binge - coke, ecstasy, horse tranquiliser, vodka, whiskey

Some poor woman, presumably famous, is having some trouble in her personal life, so The Sun help by plastering it all over the newspapers.

• Sandhurst sex scandal

“Pretty [name of average looking girl] plunged through a window [not to add too much drama] and is fighting for life after being caught in a love triangle.” Scum.

• We must save the gorillas

By whom? Is it a specialist scientist? No, it’s ex-Playboy model Rachel Hunter. Presumably the message is that if even she understands there is a problem there must indeed be one.

Any intelligent person knows this already, but just to spell it out: tabloid newspaper staff are guilty of simplifying important issues to the level of parody and of pandering to the worst in human nature in order to make money. And those who buy the papers are not much better.

On the nature of relationships

It is easy for people to forget, in the early days of relationships, that we are not in full control of our feelings, just as we are not in full control of our beliefs. The most we can do expose ourselves to the maximum evidence.

Many are the times I have been in the early days of a relationship and the woman has been anxious and applied continual pressure, seeking reassurance as to my intentions. Sometimes I have no more intention that to just see how things go. But I am asked “Will you stay with me forever?”, “Who am I to you?”, and I encounter extreme jealousy at the mere mention of other women, be they current work acquaintances or even past girlfriends from three years ago. The mention of such women, however, will be eagerly elicited from me.

This kind of behaviour pushes any secure man (or woman, no doubt) away. Nobody wants to be a crutch for someone else, they want to be equal. The questions are also asked not in a way that encourages an answer in the negative. Indeed they prohibit such an answer from any compassionate person. They are loaded with the unspoken threat “If you don’t say what I want to hear you will be responsible for hurting me”.

This behaviour is irresponsible and is not the way I like to behave. If I am becoming attached to someone I will either say nothing about it (it’ll show naturally) or I might say to them that if they do not feel the same, they are welcome to tell me and not feel guilty about it. Why do I say this? Because I understand that people are not responsible for their feelings (or lack thereof) and it is immature to think otherwise. It is not right to keep someone emotional prisoner, and it will only make things worse in the long run. It is not that they want to hurt you, it is that they feel they are given no choice. It will also not make you happy to have someone with you under duress. The only real happiness can be had from having someone with you who you know has freely decided to be in your company.

The way to attract someone, actually, is to be relaxed and genuine, give more than you get, and certainly not continually seek assurances from them. Leave the door open, but do not try to push them through. The rest flows automatically.