Private views at the Serpentine are very different from those at other galleries. This is immediately apparent by the presence of a large number of security guards who look as if they are protecting the President of the United States. They’re big, meaty men in their forties with curl wired earpieces and they scan their area as if… well, as if it’s something far more than it actually is.

Another difference is the visitors, who were in general far younger than I am used to, and who seemed to treat the event as more of a fashion show than an art exhibition (indeed, perhaps it was). Women wore over-sized sunglasses and one who looked like Keira Knightly spoke in a private school drawl, but punctuated with profanity, as is so common now (in both senses of the word). This particular girl, I noticed, was accompanied by a man who looked like he had never done a day’s work in his life. Of course I don’t know for sure, but I dare say he simply pushed money around or was a middleman of some kind - work would more than likely be beneath him, and he would be admired by his peers, and of course by the girl, for this fact. The women? I would guess that many of them were “in marketing” (or PR, of course). I have been meaning to point out that so many London females seem to work in marketing now (if you can really call it work) that it is a wonder there are enough things to market, or any of them left to do anything else.

There are a lot of staff at the Serpentine Gallery (which is in a beautiful park, by the way). Far too many, as far as I could tell. A lot of them seemed to know the guests, and there were a lot of “mwah!”s and “daahling!”s and all the other pretentious nonsense one associates with gatherings of people who have nothing better - nothing deeper - to say.

But what of the art? It had the usual multi-thousand pound, “life-saving hospital equipment value” price tags, so surely it had some merit? Hm, I think we know not to expect that by now. In fact, I am beginning to feel as if I am visiting the scene of a crime every time I go to these galleries now. A moral crime. The artwork here consisted of the usual enlarged photos, otherwise no more remarkable than one would find on any stock photo site, some collages involving the mandatory ugly genital shots (yawn), some muddled up words printed on very large canvases, and then some casts of car bonnets that looked pretty much as they would in your average car repair garage. This was “art”. This was what we are supposed to consider our modern day equivalent of Turner and Constable.

So what was going on? Was it that my first class degree in Philosophy and generally reflective nature were just not enough to enable me to see the deep messages in this work? Or was it just that the work was, in fact, utterly mediocre? I know what Brian Sewell would have thought (see a great video of the inimitable Sewell putting a “modern artist” straight on the otherwise trash that is Big Brother). British MP Kim Howells admirably spoke the truth too, when he wrote:

“If this is the best British artists can produce then British art is lost. It is cold mechanical, conceptual bullshit. Kim Howells. p.s. The attempts at conceptualisation are particularly pathetic and symptomatic of a lack of conviction.”

These people point, unashamedly, to the elephant in the room. Incidentally, I rather like a lot Howells’ realistic comments on other issues too.

If you want real art, make a bee line for the Tate Britain gallery near Pimlico. It’ll enchant and humble you (well, it does me). If you want a free beer and just to keep a check on the “art-crime” scene, head along to somewhere like the Serpentine. You might be surprised - there might be something of value there (I mean real value, as opposed to monetary value), but don’t hold your breath. The most you are likely to see is the Emperor’s New Clothes; and, of course, you won’t even see them.

Vangelis’ score accounts for perhaps 40% of the impact of Blade Runner (and the remaining 60% easily out-ranks many other films, even without music). It aurally paints the atmosphere of the future noir, mish-mash world that we must try to avoid, and what strikes me is the way Vangelis achieved a sound of delicate humanity and vulnerability battling against mechanised, confused but overpowering modernity. He achieved this in the language of music, not words, as a pioneering genius of the synthesizer.

The skill of the orchestra and the work of all involved in this project was outstanding. A artistic success. Modern “artists”, take note: there is no substitute for sheer skill and hard work.

My only aside is that I was shocked to see “3D” from Massive Attack in print on the RFH literature saying the soundtrack was “f**king amazing”. This was totally out of place and the Royal Festival Hall should retain some idea of decency even if 3D cannot.

I often thought I would have to go back in time to meet such a lady, but I ended up having to go to sunny Florida. She has enhanced my life tremendously and I am continually flattered by her interest in me.

I have written many articles not only in support of rational thought but also in support of a return to chivalry and romance, so I will link to a few of these today too:

• North & South: a call to romance
• How to entertain ladies
• The lost art of chivalry
• The death of the English lady

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Andrea, if you don’t feel loved after seeing the above, I don’t know what’ll do it.
But I know you do, and I will be with you soon..!

The Royal Opera House (if you haven’t been) is a beautiful building with, of course, excellent acoustics, and it features several sumptuous dining areas. Next time I’ll reserve a table.

The thing that shocked us about the evening, however, was the appearance of many of the paying public. There were many ruddy-faced well-fed men whom one suspected might be at the opera more because it was “the thing to do” rather than because of a deep love of classical music and opera in particular, but also many people who had obviously made no effort whatsoever over their appearance.

We had got a little dressed up. I may not have looked great (my best suit is ivory, and I deemed black more suitable for the event) but my girlfriend looked lovely in a black evening dress, elbow length gloves and pearls. Many other people, however, wore jeans, caps, trainers, whatever. Nothing wrong with those, in their place, but where is the decorum in society these days? Once was the day that everybody would dress smartly in evening wear to an opera - it was an occasion.

I considered this state of affairs to be another indicator of the general decline of standards in society. The Royal Opera House should introduce a dress code. I found myself wondering: if a £360 trip there is not enough to make people consider dressing up a little and taking a pride in their appearance, what exactly is?

“Your drawings are creepy and horribly freakish and show a warped mind that seriously needs to be examined by a psychologist. Whoever wrote the review for your work also needs their head examining and after that if they still think that your work is of a quality that other people should be subjected to I suggest that they see the work of my 3 year old niece who rivals your ‘expertise’ and sign her for a multi million pound deal that she obviously deserves!”

- Natalie Murphy

Nicely put! Actually it has become fashionable these days for companies to pay people who have barely a modicum of talent to do silly things for them - the more pretentious the better - when they could actually pay far more talented people to do better things. This has been discussed by Dawkins and others in evolutionary terms. The idea is that if you waste a lot of money on stupid things you thereby make a statement “Look at us! We are so successful we can afford to throw money away on silly rubbish”. As I recall Dawkins is critical of this argument, but I can only imagine this is why it is done in business, as it makes no moral or aesthetic sense whatsosver.

• The need to keep our own problems in perspective.
• The importance of integrity.
• That things are not always as they seem.
• The importance of decisiveness.
• The need to be confident, clear and concise.
• Utilitarianism.
• The need to guard against political naivity and idealism.

While plot mechanisms can become tired, these principles never do.

Let me say clearly first of all that the people who organised this event were all highly gracious, and I had the pleasure of chatting with the Chief Executive of Asia House, who is a charming combination of so many admirable qualities they are too plentiful to list. Asia House themselves are to be commended, since they open up a dialogue between east and west, however I had some reservations regarding the subject at hand this evening. I’m sure Asia House would not deny me the freedom to express them.

It is always interesting to learn about other cultures, but this was really a celebration of the irrational, as we often see in the western world these days. Rumi was a Sufist Muslim who believed that poetry and dance was a “pathway to god”. Excuse me? Are we in the year 2007 or are we still in the year 1200, when people might have been excused for believing such nonsense?

As a rational humanist I am tired of hearing about god in this day and age and saddened to see such an unthinking celebration of a charlatan, or at best a delusional individual.

Following the speech there was a performance of some Indian music, and the musicians had travelled from Delhi only today. We need to be clear about this: they are probably nice people and it is admirable they had travelled from Delhi, however the music was somewhat primitive, lacking in melody, and involved a great deal of drum banging and wailing. Even worse, I fear I know what the wailing was about: it was more than likely about how miserable we are as mere humans and how great god is, which I (and many other humanists such as Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins) find sickening. We should face it: the music itself was not sophisticated and neither was the message.

What are we to make of all this? Well, it is typical of a trend in western society these days to idealise and romanticise times gone by and fantasise about “hidden meaning” etc. instead of being happy with what we have. This man Rumi was living at a time when people had no idea even what the sun was. We do not have sufficient grounds to accept his metaphysical claims, nor those of Mohammed or any other unproven mystics.

We must learn to separate morality from religion and frankly we should call a spade a spade. It is not admirable for people to quiver in self-deprecating submission to an imaginary deity while banging a drum – this is ridiculous and pales in comparison with the musical genius of Mozart, Beethoven or the likes of U2 or Sigur Ros, who craft multi-layered masterpieces of sophisticated emotional impact.

People: learn about other cultures – great – that’s what I do. But do not worship the primitive and absurd. Instead be thankful for how far we have come and how much more we understand now than they did then.

Addition: The gallery inside Asia House which I visited prior to the event was actually far superior to the event itself. It featured insightful photography of China in 1979. See my photos for this…